i don’t vent anymore

i dont talk, i don’t hurt myself, i don’t cry, i don’t care, i have no compassion for anything.

my mum said she wanted to start packing, i haven’t even unpacked yet, this is my home and i only ever seem to spend short periods of time here, i never feel safe or enclosed, i’m never cosy or content, i’m always on edge, it never feels okay, i guess it’s never really okay.

sometimes i hate the world and it’s conformist crap, making everyone do the same thing, go the same way and believe the same bullshit, i want somebody different, to take me out of the routine and make me do different things people wouldn’t expect. 

i also want to cry on someone’s shoulder, or feel comfortable enough to believe i would if i needed to. 

doctors soon